So, after couple days of swinging and pony riding, we got to watch Hope while her older siblings and parents went whitewater rafting. Elise and Hope are six months apart, and we had a lot of fun having Hope and Elise together. (I told Scott it was like practice for number two, but I don’t think he was too sold on the idea.) The fun day ended with a western night which of course included more pony rides and face painting. Elise got a butterfly painted on her face, and she is still talking about it – everything about camp really made an impression on her.

The second week of August, we took a trip to Westcliffe, CO. We began by taking a 12 hour drive to  Horn Creek Family Camp to participate in an Adoptive and Foster Family week of camp. (Scott and I even led worship, but I don’t think that’s well documented – too bad.) All the McClellans had fun meeting other adoptive families and making new friends. Elise wasn’t old enough for white water rafting, but she made up for it by spending her time swinging, riding a pony, going down a waterslide, and bowling. She is ready for another trip….

A dinner conversation…Scott, “Blah, blah, blah, blah, Colorado.” Elise, “Go Colorado tonight?” Scott, “No, tonight take a bath.” Elise, “Take a bath and then Colorado, okay.” Poor baby, maybe she’s just hot. Either way, we have lots of pictures to document our fun, but I won’t overload you with them all at once. Consider this your first installment…

Here at the McClellan house we find ourselves wondering and being asked what’s next for our family or specifically who’s next. Do we try to get pregnant? Do we adopt again? Which is the right choice? We don’t know.

We know we started three years ago when we answered God’s calling and started our adoption process. We began our story here FAQs, and it was one of many ups and downs. Despite our experience, we would jump at the chance to adopt from Vietnam again, but there’s no way to know when Vietnam will re-open adoptions with the US, which circles us right back around to our questions…do wait on Vietnam? do we choose another adoption process? do we try to get pregnant?

In late July, I saw an update on Vietnam and for a minute I got up hope that they were re-opening, but no, they’re still closed.

So after enduring our wait to adopt Elise, we find ourselves in another waiting period, but this go around we have this little one to entertain us.

This summer Elise has taken leaps and bounds away from toddler hood. She does start her preschool class in August, so I guess it was to be expected. She’s said good bye to her pacifier (papper), moved to a twin bed, and potty trained. She’s aslo had some fun with a new bike and ballet (dancing) classes. She’s been busy, and so have we. After some AC leak drama that carried on for a month, we finally have our ceiling repaired and painted and the AC fixed (third time is the charm with AC companies). As a bonus, our living room and dining room got painted because of our open floor plan that connected to the ceiling. Then last weekend Scott and his step-dad installed laminate floors, and they look great. I think we’re ready for some relaxing summer time before it’s back to school – only 3 weeks away.

So the theme of this summer is me being behind on updates…here’s what we were up to on July 4th.

Randomly, I saw the end of Cast Away last night, and these words have stuck with me, “I had power over nothing. And that’s when this feeling came over me like a warm blanket. I knew, somehow, that I had to stay alive. Somehow. I had to keep breathing. Even though there was no reason to hope. And all my logic said that I would never see this place again… So that’s what I did. I stayed alive. I kept breathing.”

When things don’t make sense, we have to keep breathing, keep living, and keep trusting God. I have been keeping up with a new blog, http://ourclaire.wordpress.com/, about a family that is in the middle of something that doesn’t make sense. It’s a family’s story of dealing with the near-drowning of their 3 year old, Claire, at the beginning of this summer. (This family is a part of my church, but I have never met them. I heard about their story in a bible study.) As this family struggles through this tragic, confusing time, they are vulnerably blogging their story. It’s pretty emotional to follow, but I appreciate the transparent story-telling.

We got through our adoption story because of God working on our behalf and the prayers of the many people who journeyed with us – some we never met. I hope you will join this family’s story, root for little Claire, and wait to see how God works.

Last Friday, June 11, Elise turned 2. This post may be a little late, but don’t worry we captured the moment with photos and video. And though we tried, Elise didn’t actually eat cake or ice cream; she just wanted the purple icing – silly girl.

So Elise got to go over to aunt KK and uncle Josh’s house, and she got a football lesson from the coach, uncle Josh. She had a blast; the pictures say it all.

Sometimes I’m a little slow on processing, but when I have had the time, I have had a lot on my mind…

February 27, 2010, was my sister’s baby shower. Five of us worked together to throw a shower and honor this special addition to the family. There was a smorgasbord of food, drinks, hand made decorations, piles of gifts, and supportive friends and family. In the middle of it all was Elise hamming it up. As I looked at her, I couldn’t help but wonder what Elise’s birth mother experienced. Where was her party? Where was her support? And then, I helped the moment pass.

As the party wound down, Elise and I ventured outside. She tottered around pushing her uncles’ childhood car, and I just got to watch and enjoy. I watched her climb over the side instead of using the door, and again I wondered where was her birthmother? Where was her support? Where was her party?

I love Elise. I can’t imagine my life without her. She’s been in our home for only seventeen months, but it seems like she’s always been here. Yet in the midst of my joy and reveling in the life unfolding before me, there’s always a twinge of sadness.

I can’t imagine the personal circumstances that Elise’s birth mother faced. I can’t imagine what went through her mind as she placed her baby girl for adoption. I wish I knew. I wish I could tell her, “She’s safe and loved,” but I can’t. I can only rest in the information we have that shows a loving birth mother, and I’m sorry she didn’t get to keep sharing her love. I’m sorry she and Elise suffered the loss of each other. I’m sorry that we won’t have all the answers for Elise, and that she will have to learn how to accept her story.

But even in the midst of this sadness and grief, I’m so thankful to have my baby girl, Elise. I’m excited to discover her life with her and hope that we can teach her about God’s faithfulness, providence, and compassion. I pray that Elise’s story is one of redemption. And I pray that Elise’s birth mother knows she’s safe and loved because as her mother that’s what I want to know, that she’s safe and loved.

…So in fashion with the way my befuddled mind has kept up with events in the month of May, Happy Belated Mother’s Day Elise An’s birth mom! Thank you for giving me a Mother’s Day.

A friend started a business, check it out.

http://www.ourlittleonesboutique.com/home