Category: FAQs

Originally posted May 6, 2007 on our old Vox blog.

Are you adopting a boy or a girl?

We don’t know. When you adopt from Vietnam and are a childless couple, you cannot specify the sex of the baby. We’ll just have to wait and see. But don’t worry, we already have a boy name and a girl name, and I’m already planning colors for the nursery that could be for a boy or  a girl.

Where will the baby’s room be?

When we first moved into our townhome, we used our bedrooms for an office, a guest bedroom, and a master bedroom. We are converting our office into the nursery. We already gave away a lot of the office furniture, and we were given a crib and a changing table (but those are in the closet). Right now the room has two bookshelves, a cardio glide, and plenty of space for me to do Pilates.

Originally posted May 3, 2007 on our old Vox blog.

Why Vietnam?

Scott and I get asked this question a lot, and really, there are two answers. The first answer is that we prayed through our decision and really felt God leading us towards Vietnam. While we were making our decision, there were several things we looked at when weighing the options each country presented. We looked at nine different countries – China, Colombia, Ethiopia, Guatemala, Kazakhstan, Mexico, Ukraine, Russia, and Vietnam.

For China, you had to be at least 30 years old, so that country was automatically out. Some countries like Kazakhstan and Ukraine required a longer international trip that we thought we could manage. Others, like Russia, involved two international trips which we weren’t sure we could do. Guatemala had some adoption laws that were going to change soon, and we didn’t want to get caught in the middle of it. When the time came down to decide what we thought would make a good fit, we looked at the overall length of the adoption process, the amount of time spent in the country, and the age of the child.

We ended up picking Vietnam because it was a “short” adoption process. The first Vietnam placement took about a year, but now it will probably take a year and a half (which is just a guestimate, we’re not really sure). We did know that some countries’ adoption process took two years. Also, we thought we could handle the three week trip to Vietnam to pick up our infant. Infant was the key word in that phrase. Luckily, I now work for a preschool, and I learned that an infant is a child up to 18 months old. We think our child will be twelve months old or less. We don’t really have any guarantees, so we’ll see how everything plays out.

Another question a few have ventured to ask…

How much does it cost to adopt?

This is really a difficult question because it’s asking for private information. We don’t really feel like cost is something we should discuss. Scott came up with the best answer, “It costs enough for us to have to be serious about adopting.” Meaning it’s not something you would take on lightly.

I guess the question that follows is…

How will you pay for it?

Well, fortunately I am a teacher, and I finish teaching at 3:30 pm. I am able to work in the after school program at my school, and I am also going to teach summer school this summer. This is in addition to what we already have saved and continue to save each month. Also, there are adoption loans and grants. We have looked into this a little bit, but we haven’t made any decisions about it or what we would use.

We’re just taking things as they come. There’s not much sense in stressing over things because the process is what it is, and we have to go through all the steps. Now, I say this, but I can’t promise you that I never stress out. Scott, on the other hand, is more laid back in general, and it’s a little easier for him to handle the ambiguity than I. But we knew it would be this way, so we just take everything as it comes.

Originally posted May 1, 2007 on our old Vox blog.

What made you decide to adopt?

A serious of events happened before we made the decision to adopt. Sometime in the month of August 2006, we discussed the idea of adopting with friends one Saturday night, and then the next Sunday at church the guest speaker was from Children’s Hope Chest which is an organization involved in orphan care and outreach. (You can visit this organization at http://www.hopechest.org). After hearing this speaker, we decided to research the possibility of adopting. We got some information and just started talking about adoption. We didn’t know much about it which led  us to an even at Irving Bible Church called “Adoption Myths and Realities,” which was put on by the Tapestry Adoption Ministry. Tapestry is a community of foster and adoptive parents that support and encourage each other. (They have a website, too. http://tapestry.irvingbible.org). Attending this event gave us a lot of information and put us in contact with people who were “veterans” at the adoption process. I say “veterans” because no one adoption process is exactly the same, but still they could help us maneuver these new waters.

After this event, we started looking into agencies and countries. We started to pray (not that we hadn’t already been praying). We spent time deciding as individuals how we felt God leading us. We didn’t want one of us to influence the other, but let’s be honest if someone was going to push someone it was going to be me (Annie). I can be a little impatient; Scott, however, has no problem taking his time. Nevertheless, I set a deadline of Christmas 2006 for us to know where we were headed with our family.

Scott and I picked an agency and a country. We signed up for an Informational Session with the agency. The meeting was in December, so we were on track for our deadline. But, the session got canceled due to lack of interest; I guess Scott and I were the only ones interested. We felt a little dejected after that. Concurrently, one of the couples from the Tapestry Ministry invited us over for dinner to discuss where we were in regards to adoption.

We met with the couple, and we told them about our canceled Informational Session. We also told them that we had reached the decision to adopt. We felt God calling us to start our family through adoption. The couple we met with suggested we look into another agency that dealt with the country we were considering. We took their advice and ended up signing up for an Information Session with the Gladney Agency. The session was scheduled for January 2007.

While waiting for our session, we had discussed our decision with our families over Christmas, and we assured them that we would have more information after our January session. January comes and so does the ice. Our session got canceled, again, but this time because of weather. So, we signed up for another session with Gladney in February. Finally, we got to the Informational Session, and we got so much information that we were now leaning towards a different country. We began to prayerfully considered the countries we felt led to. Scott was led one way, and I another. We also discussed the two countries with our families to see what kind of feedback we got from them. Then, finally, right before my spring break in March, we decided on Vietnam.

After deciding on Vietnam, we could begin our official adoption process. We contacted the agency to let them know that we had picked a country, and then we were led through an overview of the adoption process for Vietnam. Next, we filled out an informational sheet to request our 50 page application. So, now six months later, what began as a conversation back in August is being lived out.