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By Annie, June 23, 2011 4:24 pm

Elise was six months old when we adopted her, so experiencing a newborn is new for us. I’m tired and cranky, but when the baby smiles at me, it makes me happy. Some people have wondered if we feel any different this time since Maggie is biological. Scott and I immediately say no.

We have two children, two girls. We have one that we adopted, and we have one child who is biological. And, we love them both because they are ours. But I did experience some different feelings when we welcomed Maggie into the world, and they had nothing to do with our two children. I thought about the key players in any birth – birth parents, and the term used to describe the period after birth.

birth parent–noun

a biological mother (birth mother)  or biological father (birth father);  a biological parent.

post·par·tum   [pohst-pahr-tuhm]–adjective Obstretrics .

of or noting the period of time following childbirth; after delivery.

After starting my induction around 7:45 am, I became a birth mother at 3:28 pm on May 11, 2011 and was sent to the postpartum department of the hospital. As I sat in my room recovering from giving childbirth, I couldn’t help but think of the birth mothers in the adoption process. My body was in pain: Walking, going to the bathroom, sitting, laying down everything was uncomfortable yet I had a precious baby in my room and the support of my husband.

What if you are a birth mother who has chosen to make an adoption plan? Where do they send you after you give birth? Do they send you to the same postpartum floor? Because that seems cruel. When you’re on that floor, you can hear the other babies, parents, and well-wishers. Everyone is happy and excited, but what if you had just made one of the most difficult decisions of your life? Where are you then? And who is with you?

I don’t know the answers to those questions; maybe some of you do. I do believe that those birth mothers who make adoption plans are brave. I don’t know anyone who openly embraces change and the unknown, and a birth mother’s decision to make an adoption plan is a big unknown. It’s easy to be the pregnant person that brings a baby home. I can only imagine it’s hard to be the pregnant person who shows all the signs of giving birth except the tell tale sign of a newborn. And I know from friends it’s a hard road to travel when you’re the non-pregnant person who finally gets to bring a baby home. But your baby is your baby, and you love them no matter their origins.

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By Annie, June 15, 2011 4:15 pm

Maggie is actually 5 weeks according to the weekly email updates I get, but we went for her one month check up today. Maggie is really growing. Her height is 22 & 1/4 inches and her weight is 10.8 pounds; those numbers put her in the 90th percentile. So even though Maggie will be bigger than Elise, Elise is very protective. She does not want Maggie to get anymore shots because she does not want her to get hurt. They are sweet to each other, and I have the pictures and video to prove it.

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By Annie, June 12, 2011 4:54 pm

Elise turned three on Saturday, June 11. She had a busy day, but it was a lot of fun. Here are a few pictures and video of her special day.

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By Annie, June 9, 2011 3:48 pm

Looks like both our girls will need orthodontic services in their future. Here’s sweet Maggie sucking her thumb like I did. My dad was my orthodontist, and he put a thumb bar in my mouth to make me stop. I think a thumb bar is an actual orthodontic appliance and not something he made up; either way, it worked for me.

Then there’s sweet Elise. Her journey into orthodontics will be a little more complicated. We went to the dentist for the first time this week, and Elise got some x-rays done. My dad had already been predicting that her teeth will be terribly crowded, so that I was expecting. But I never considered that things with your teeth are genetic. When her x-rays came back, the dentist was pointing some things out about Elise’s permanent teeth, and then said, “These kind of things are genetic,” and waited for me to answer. I didn’t know what to say. My first thought was, “I checked the box on my information sheet that she’s adopted, so shouldn’t you have read that already.” I’m sure it was only 2 seconds, but I probably looked confused or stunned because I just wasn’t expecting that. It was a weird feeling to not know the answer (since we don’t know her birth family) other than probably is genetic which is what I got out. Then we discussed how things could change, but that we would definitely need an orthodontist. I already consulted my dad and he confirmed what the dentist said, so I guess we better start a savings account for Elise’s orthodontics. There’s always something with these kids.

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By Annie, June 8, 2011 5:00 pm

This week is our first week of summer home together. Some things have gone better than expected like nap and bedtime. Elise is used to one of us sitting with her until she falls asleep, but with an infant that’s not possible now. Elise had no problem with me leaving to check on Maggie as long as I came back in 5 five minutes, and I had to come back. She usually waited the first 5 minutes for me to come back before falling asleep. I’ve also been able to run errands which means that yes I took Maggie out before she was 6 weeks old; no way around that when you have a daughter whose birthday is Saturday and your husband is in Canada. But don’t worry Maggie was covered and no one touched her.

We have also had the normal hiccups. Elise loves to wake up in a bad mood, which is pleasant and so lovely. After some time to calm down and try the situation again, Elise did get over it. Especially since Elise didn’t want Maggie and I to shop for her birthday without her; though Elise had been loudly wishing I would go away.

Then there are the all important anatomy questions that come up. Tuesday, Elise asked, “Does poop come out your bagina?” Good question, but no it does not. And while we were at Target filling her prescription, she asked for a hair dryer – random.

So, we have been to the dentist, planned a birthday, and visited the pediatrician. It never fails that when Scott is out of town (just Tuesday & Wednesday), Elise gets sick — like a fever of 102.4 sick which ended up being strep throat. Sadly for Elise that means no trip to the movie theater and no swim lessons Wednesday. Luckily, strep throat is more difficult to pass to newborns than if Elise just had a virus, so the doctor and I were “glad” it was strep.

As for me, I find myself often saying, “I’m the mom. I’m the adult. I’m the boss,” can you guess who that’s directed at? But I have learned that being able to get one cup of coffee helps me immensely, so glad I can have caffeine again. Also ignoring the disaster area that is my house helps, too. Maybe when Maggie is 2 and Elise is 5 the house will be clean again.