Elise was six months old when we adopted her, so experiencing a newborn is new for us. I’m tired and cranky, but when the baby smiles at me, it makes me happy. Some people have wondered if we feel any different this time since Maggie is biological. Scott and I immediately say no.
We have two children, two girls. We have one that we adopted, and we have one child who is biological. And, we love them both because they are ours. But I did experience some different feelings when we welcomed Maggie into the world, and they had nothing to do with our two children. I thought about the key players in any birth – birth parents, and the term used to describe the period after birth.
a biological mother (birth mother) or biological father (birth father); a biological parent.
post·par·tum [pohst-pahr-tuhm]–adjective Obstretrics .
After starting my induction around 7:45 am, I became a birth mother at 3:28 pm on May 11, 2011 and was sent to the postpartum department of the hospital. As I sat in my room recovering from giving childbirth, I couldn’t help but think of the birth mothers in the adoption process. My body was in pain: Walking, going to the bathroom, sitting, laying down everything was uncomfortable yet I had a precious baby in my room and the support of my husband.
What if you are a birth mother who has chosen to make an adoption plan? Where do they send you after you give birth? Do they send you to the same postpartum floor? Because that seems cruel. When you’re on that floor, you can hear the other babies, parents, and well-wishers. Everyone is happy and excited, but what if you had just made one of the most difficult decisions of your life? Where are you then? And who is with you?
I don’t know the answers to those questions; maybe some of you do. I do believe that those birth mothers who make adoption plans are brave. I don’t know anyone who openly embraces change and the unknown, and a birth mother’s decision to make an adoption plan is a big unknown. It’s easy to be the pregnant person that brings a baby home. I can only imagine it’s hard to be the pregnant person who shows all the signs of giving birth except the tell tale sign of a newborn. And I know from friends it’s a hard road to travel when you’re the non-pregnant person who finally gets to bring a baby home. But your baby is your baby, and you love them no matter their origins.