I’m sure no other parent is guilty of overreacting. My daughter can be quite dramatic and sometimes the things she says are worrisome, “Momma my legs are sore because there’s blood all over.” There’s clearly not blood all over her legs. But what does she mean? I wanted to be thorough, so I talked to some friends who helped me rule out blood clots, remembered that her infant multi-vitamin had iron in it, and googled iron deficiencies. After all, she went through a battery of blood tests between 6 and 8 months and follow up tests at a year and 2 years to check for a specific kind of anemia. I decided she needed to add iron to her multi-vitamin since she used to take a multi-vitamin with iron as an infant. Plus Google said her cranky attitude was a symptom of iron deficiency. (Side note: She has been taking her multi-vitamin with iron for two weeks and her cranky attitude has not been miraculously cured.)
This is just an example of me trying to track down a logical explanation to something my daughter said. Sometimes she’s being dramatic, sometimes she’s avoiding clean up time, and sometimes there is an adoption related issue. Now, I don’t think every parent should overreact or overthink a situation like me, but if you do have questions about nutritionhttp://adoptionnutrition.org is a great resource. Tapestry blogged about the website in this blog post, “Focusing on Food and Nutrition.”
In my defense, iron deficiency is possible in children from Vietnam, but at the end of the day, I was just trying to grasp a reason as to why my daughter is so cranky and why she says there’s blood all over. I’m not sure I’ll ever know what she meant by that statement (or eradicate all her cranky attitudes), but at least she likes her new vitamins.
This post also appeared on http://tapestryministry.org/blog
When we made our annual trip to Horn Creek Colorado this past August, I signed up for the high ropes course. I had tried things out like this in my teenage years, but I was not prepared to feel so scared.
As I was climbing up the pole to begin the course, I kept thinking why am I doing this? And then once I was up, my heart started pounding, but I didn’t want to give up. I had to sing “Oh God, you are my God, and I will ever praise you REPEAT And step by step you’ll lead me, and I will follow you all of my days,” just to get across the ropes from one platform to the next. I never looked down, and I just kept singing those words to myself over and over again. When I finally made it to the zipline and touched the ground again, I felt so relieved. I was immediately aware that my heart was still pounding; I was thirsty, hungry, and exhausted. I got some water, a snack, and took some deep breaths until I calmed my body back down, and then I rested.
I was with some families from Tapestry, so we joked about how we needed the some of the strategies we learned in Empowered to Connect to help us through the high ropes course. But the reality is, my body and mind went through a fear response and recovered from it because I knew how to recognize what my body needed. Some of our children can deal with fear responses everyday if not constantly. Their hearts can always be racing as they struggle to feel felt safety. I had never realized how taxing a condition of fear could be until I experienced it for about 20-30 minutes. Is it any wonder some of our kids can have epic meltdowns? If they feel scared or threatened by a situation, we have no idea how long their hearts and adrenaline have been pounding especially if your child is unaware of their need and doesn’t have the tools to help themselves.
Empowered to Connect has some videos made by Dr. Karyn Purvis. Listen to Dr. Purvis talk about impact of fear.
This post also appeared on http://tapestryministry.org/blog.
I recently read “Things Were Better Before You Came.” It’s a memoir written by Doug Walker, an adoptee.
Doug always knew he was adopted; he says, “The knowledge of my adoption was an extremely significant factor contributing to my self-worth. I had never been given any reason to doubt my parents’ love for me because I believed had been chosen.” Then one day in a moment of frustration Doug’s mother said the words that became the title of this book, “Things were better before you came.” As Doug works through how this statement affected him, he reflects a lot on his relationship with his mother.
What I found most interesting was how Doug considered how his mother’s past affected her parenting. He says, “I am now also able to acknowledge how much pain she had endured and how …[it]… contributed to her struggles as a parent.” Doug’s story is a good reminder to us deal with our pasts so we can better connect with our children. This is something Dr. Purvis talks about in her book “The Connected Child,” and in this video Looking at Ourselves to Help Our Children Heal.
Looking at Ourselves to Help Our Children Heal from Tapestry on Vimeo.
For more from Dr. Karyn Purvis visit http://www.empoweredtoconnect.org
To learn more about Doug Walker’s book visit http://thingswerebetter.com and learn more about Doug visit The Fellowship of the Parks.
This post also appeared on http://tapestryministry.org/blog.
Last week, the girls and I made a trip to Houston to play with cousins and meet the new baby cousins; my sister-in-law and cousin-in-law both had baby girls in December. Elise’s loves babies, and Maggie seemed curious while at the same time having no idea a baby is actually alive. She probably just wanted to chew on them. 
Then, Claire and Vivian; Me, Elise, and Maggie; Ashley, Olive, and Audrey; and Ashley’s sister Melissa all took a trip to the Houston Children’s Museum. Thank goodness Melissa came because we needed the extra help, and all the girls had fun playing with her.
All the girls, adults and kids, had fun on our girls only trip, but our little cuties wore us moms out.
Sad to say that I didn’t make it past 9:45 pm on New Year’s Eve. But that’s better than the night I fell asleep at 7:00 even before Elise, in my defense, Maggie had been up for several hours the night before. So the McClellans, just hung out on New Year’s Eve, and weather permitting we hope to have started a new tradition for New Year’s day – the zoo! Maggie may have smiled at the penguins, but she didn’t really notice anything else. Elise though had a blast which made it fun for everyone.
Just some pictures of the girls enjoying the holiday break
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