So now that we have been matched to Elise and we’ve spread the good news, we often get asked, “How can you stand it? Don’t you just want to go over there and get her?” My general response is, “No.” This statement usually gets a confused look and response. I figure its about time to try and explain myself. 🙂
We have this picture of this baby. This baby has a name, and we’ve decided to give her another name. We don’t know what she does all day. We don’t how often she sleeps, how often she eats, how often she poops; we just don’t know. Yet, she’s our baby. It’s all very confusing and overwhelming. I’m excited and terrified at the same time. I’m excited that we are starting our family, that we have tons of support, and a super cute baby room. But I’m terrified of the end of the adoption process. So when someone asks, “Don’t you just want to go over there and get her?” I think, “No.”
I don’t know what to pack for me. I don’t know what to pack for her. I don’t know what she eats or what she likes. I don’t know what kind of bottles to buy. I don’t know what to do with a newborn much less starting with a 6 month old. I don’t know how to get through a 13+ hour flight. I don’t know what to do with a “stranger” baby in a foreign country or traveling back with her on another 13+ hour flight. I have a lot of unknowns, so I need this 60 days to prepare for the last leg of our adoption process. I need some time to finish “processing.” We still have some preparing to do–some of it physical, such as babyproofing, and some of it mental/emotional/spiritual–and in that way, having 60 days to go is somewhat comforting. With that in mind, we’re going to try to make the most of the rest of our wait. Besides, Scott and I have already invested 18 months in this process; a few more months won’t hurt us.
I do appreciate everyone’s enthusiasm and excitement. I need that while I struggle through all my insecurities and unknowns. So just be patient with me, we are delighted and overjoyed to be chosen to parent Elise, but I have few other things running through my mind. 🙂
PS – My parents finally got power on Monday, September 22, and their office got power on Sunday, September 21. They have been able to resume work and the regular routines after a 10 day interruption.
First, if you want some practice I’ll come visit with Isabel anytime you want to give you some practical experience. I’m not joking. I wish I had had some first hand experience before becoming her mother. I know EXACTLY how you feel. I have had to go through the same things but with her home. We prepared so long and then a baby fell in our laps and I wasn’t prepared for that at all. It was a learn as we went process for me. And after so long it’s only natural to feel this way.
Food for her. Take baby puffs (gerber or similar). Isabel loves those. Other than that unless they already have her on food you’ll just need formula. Just check your airlines restrictions. It’d be great if they could tell you that stuff right before you went to bring her home. Not sure what your shopping is like over there.
13 hour plane rides I did often in the past. They’re not fun but you’ll have in flight movies most likely so your way there will be fine, bring books and magazines and cards if you like to play endless games. On the way home, toys, books and pray she sleeps. But your flight attendants will likely love her and help you out. Or just pity you and laugh (JK, trying to make you laugh).
That was a long time without power. Glad ther are all up and running again.
its funny that i am reading this post now. tin and i have been praying for a while that God will prep you and scott to be good parental units.
Annie, thanks for saying that. I can only imagine the huge amount of processing you are going through. I think that 60 days is a pretty short amount of time to prepare for an unknown baby and that baby’s habits. I will pray for God to use this time to work in your lives to prepare you.
This was the best post! There definitely is a ton to process and time is what you need and the Lord. Praying for you!
I LOVE the room too! It is so, so cute!