The Christmas season at the McClellan house was an emotional roller coaster, so much so, that I (at times) said, “I hate Christmas.”
We brought out our Christmas decorations and tree a couple days after Thanksgiving and got the first inkling of how tumultuous this Christmas would be. There were no presents, no Santa, and the anticipation was clearly too much for our 4 year old. We hoped when we started lighting our Advent candles and counting down with our Advent calendar that the stress of anticipation our daughter was feeling would end, but no. While we had moments of peace and happiness, we had mostly had discontent and grumbling – nothing that made me want to say Merry Christmas.
This all came to a head the week before Christmas when our daughter informed us that Santa told her she was on the naughty list for hitting, and she was worried that she would not get a toy for Christmas. And she told us she was scared of Santa coming into her house at night while she was sleeping; this from a little girl who struggles every night with fear at bedtime.
So while we had never built up Santa at our house, our daughter doesn’t remember from year to year what we have said about Santa, and this year for whatever reason she had bought in to what she was hearing and believed Santa was real. She believed in a Santa who told her she was bad and would sneak into her house at night and scare her, so I did want any exasperated parent would do. I told her Santa wasn’t real. I told her Santa is a story people tell at Christmas, and that Christmas is not about getting presents or whether you are naughty or nice. I told her that mommy and daddy give her presents to celebrate Jesus’s birthday. I told her that we love her whether she’s “naughty or nice,” and that we are the bosses of this family and no “Santa” can tell her she is not getting presents.
Now, I wish that I could tell you that the angels started singing, and my daughter understood the meaning of Christmas like never before, but we were not quite done with our emotions. As I have continued to reflect on the events and emotions (frequency and duration) we have seen leading up to Christmas, I am convinced that we have to do Christmas different next year.
I wished I could have taken all the decorations down and started over, but I will just have to plan for next year. As we are learning that the anticipation of Christmas is too much for our daughter, I think all Christmas decorations and the tree might have to wait until Christmas Eve. I know we will just have to reiterate over and over that Santa is not real and is not the reason for Christmas. Jesus is real and Jesus is the reason for Christmas.
And now three weeks post Christmas, we know our 4 year old was just stressed. We have put away the decorations and almost over night the angst, self-deprecation, and hurtful words have ceased. So, here’s to hoping next year is about the excitement of Jesus’s birth instead of the fear and stress of Santa. Wish us luck!:)
It is amazing what stress does to our kids. The stress and worry of the baby leaving have triggered some things we thought we had worked through with Isabel. Will be interested in how you do Christmas differently this year for her.
Yes, stress and anticipation are not fun. I am interested to see how next year will work out. I think I will do a countdown starting December 1, and wait to do the Christmas tree until Christmas Eve. Then someone suggested leaving the tree up until Epiphany Sunday, so that may work. I think overall less is more will be better at our house; we will see. She’ll probably be totally fine next now that I spent so much time thinking about it! 🙂
I’m impressed, I have to say. Really not often do I encounter a blog that’s both educative and entertaining, and let me let you know, you may have hit the nail on the head. Your concept is excellent; the issue is something that not sufficient individuals are speaking intelligently about. I am very pleased that I stumbled throughout this in my seek for something relating to this.