We returned from our July 4th trip to a house that was 86 degrees and climbing – our AC went out. Some neighbors graciously offered to take us in, and so began our four-night slumber party. After our third night, it was Monday and time to take the girls to school. Everyone got dressed and ready and we went about our day.
When I came back to pick up my children, the two year old’s teacher said, “Did you know Maggie had on two right shoes? We tried to put them on the correct feet, but realized she was wearing two right shoes – one size 8 and one size 7.” My response, “Oh, we are staying with the neighbors…she dressed herself.”
Later I thought, why did I say that? Why did I blame the situation? My child? Why did it matter that she wore mixed up shoes and I didn’t notice? But I think felt inadequate. I was afraid of being labeled. After all, how could a mother send her child to school in mismatched shoes and never notice? (Probably because she wasn’t living in her home and was fighting to get the warranty to fix the AC).
But why do I – we – care so much? It’s just a mismatched shoe or crazy outfit or pajamas or messy hair. Or I just rolled out of bed and a hat was better than showing off oily hair.
I’m trying to find the freedom to be me – rushed, forgetful, tired, maybe in need of a shower. And hopefully the people looking at me think – oh, I bet she’s doing the best she can, not, well, she could have at least brushed her and her children’s hair. And hopefully, I stop listening to what I think other people are thinking. Because my kids don’t care; if I wear hat, everyone wants to wear a hat. If I have a ponytail, everyone wants a ponytail. If I’m wearing a dress, everyone wants a dress. And if I have change my outfit 5 times, everyone changes their outfit 5 times. They are the ones watching and emulating me; they are the ones that matter most. So it’s in their best interest for mommy to just be the best mommy that she can be.
So if you see me doing something you wouldn’t, let it be. I’ll get it right the next time. I’m doing the best I can – one day at a time.