When we made our annual trip to Horn Creek Colorado this past August, I signed up for the high ropes course. I had tried things out like this in my teenage years, but I was not prepared to feel so scared.
As I was climbing up the pole to begin the course, I kept thinking why am I doing this? And then once I was up, my heart started pounding, but I didn’t want to give up. I had to sing “Oh God, you are my God, and I will ever praise you REPEAT And step by step you’ll lead me, and I will follow you all of my days,” just to get across the ropes from one platform to the next. I never looked down, and I just kept singing those words to myself over and over again. When I finally made it to the zipline and touched the ground again, I felt so relieved. I was immediately aware that my heart was still pounding; I was thirsty, hungry, and exhausted. I got some water, a snack, and took some deep breaths until I calmed my body back down, and then I rested.
I was with some families from Tapestry, so we joked about how we needed the some of the strategies we learned in Empowered to Connect to help us through the high ropes course. But the reality is, my body and mind went through a fear response and recovered from it because I knew how to recognize what my body needed. Some of our children can deal with fear responses everyday if not constantly. Their hearts can always be racing as they struggle to feel felt safety. I had never realized how taxing a condition of fear could be until I experienced it for about 20-30 minutes. Is it any wonder some of our kids can have epic meltdowns? If they feel scared or threatened by a situation, we have no idea how long their hearts and adrenaline have been pounding especially if your child is unaware of their need and doesn’t have the tools to help themselves.
I recently read “Things Were Better Before You Came.” It’s a memoir written by Doug Walker, an adoptee.
Doug always knew he was adopted; he says, “The knowledge of my adoption was an extremely significant factor contributing to my self-worth. I had never been given any reason to doubt my parents’ love for me because I believed had been chosen.” Then one day in a moment of frustration Doug’s mother said the words that became the title of this book, “Things were better before you came.” As Doug works through how this statement affected him, he reflects a lot on his relationship with his mother.
What I found most interesting was how Doug considered how his mother’s past affected her parenting. He says, “I am now also able to acknowledge how much pain she had endured and how …[it]… contributed to her struggles as a parent.” Doug’s story is a good reminder to us deal with our pasts so we can better connect with our children. This is something Dr. Purvis talks about in her book “The Connected Child,” and in this video Looking at Ourselves to Help Our Children Heal.
Last week, the girls and I made a trip to Houston to play with cousins and meet the new baby cousins; my sister-in-law and cousin-in-law both had baby girls in December. Elise’s loves babies, and Maggie seemed curious while at the same time having no idea a baby is actually alive. She probably just wanted to chew on them.
Then, Claire and Vivian; Me, Elise, and Maggie; Ashley, Olive, and Audrey; and Ashley’s sister Melissa all took a trip to the Houston Children’s Museum. Thank goodness Melissa came because we needed the extra help, and all the girls had fun playing with her.
All the girls, adults and kids, had fun on our girls only trip, but our little cuties wore us moms out.
Sad to say that I didn’t make it past 9:45 pm on New Year’s Eve. But that’s better than the night I fell asleep at 7:00 even before Elise, in my defense, Maggie had been up for several hours the night before. So the McClellans, just hung out on New Year’s Eve, and weather permitting we hope to have started a new tradition for New Year’s day – the zoo! Maggie may have smiled at the penguins, but she didn’t really notice anything else. Elise though had a blast which made it fun for everyone.
Elise had a Christmas Program at school and a little dancing set to Christmas music in her ballet class. Let me just say that Elise sings the loudest out of her school friends and dances with the most enthusiasm at ballet class. I am not exaggerating.
Erin started dating Johnny and hanging out with our family 3 years ago.
Erin has been so fun to have around; she loves coming to family events and supporting what our family is doing (like giving me tips on how to do a bun for a ballerina and coming to dance recitals).
After about 2 years, I think we were all ready to propose for Johnny, but he had a plan. Needless to say, we were all very excited when Johnny proposed at his Dallas Fire Academy Burn Night, and Erin was, too.
Elise especially loves Erin, and Johnny and Erin were both so kind to babysit for us about 8 weeks in a row in 2010 even though Elise came to dread to seeing them. Luckily, Elise moved passed that and was thrilled to be a flower girl at their wedding.
We had a lot of fun at Johnny and Erin’s wedding Saturday, November 5, and even Maggie got to have some fun dancing. Happy two week anniversary guys!
Adoption, Empowered to Connect, Tapestry | Annie | January 24, 2012 | 
Comments (1) 
