This originally appeared on Tapestry’s website April 30, 2013.
We have put our kids through the wringer over the past week, and all things considered, they are doing awesome.We moved out of our old house and moved in with in-laws (Grammy and PaPaw) for a couple days, and then moved into our new home. We moved a lot. We went through a lot of transitions.
Throughout all the transitions, I noticed something interesting. Our youngest kept asking for her “birdies” — an owl mobile that hung over her crib her whole life. At first we were surprised because we didn’t know she was attached to the mobile, but then I realized it wasn’t about the birdies at all.
She was asking for a sense of home. Her birdies were just a means to an end — her way of orienting herself to a particular place.
I was retelling this story to a friend of mine who is also an adoptive mom, and she had been through a similar experience with one of her children. Her daughter was having a difficult time transitioning to her new home, so my friend called the previous home the child had been in and asked to come get some of the child’s things. When my friend’s daughter had her things back, she was able to handle the transition better.
Part of caring for our kids is paying attention to what they’re asking for as well as why they’re asking. In the midst of tough times or significant transitions, our kids may ask for seemingly trivial items or activities. While it might be more convenient for us to put aside those requests and forge ahead, it’s important to remember that our children are really asking for a sense of home. Whenever possible, let’s find ways to give that sense of home, that sense of safety and comfort, in the familiar things.
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