Mom, do you think…?

This post originally appeared on Tapestry’s website on June 11, 2013.

My oldest daughter has a question, a personal question. She has asked me this question twice while I’m driving and she’s in the backseat, and she has phrased it the exact same way. She asked me the week before Mother’s Day and five days before her birthday.

I welcome her questions and I wish I had longer answers. But what I’m left with is the reminder that she is thinking. She is processing what adoption means for her. And honestly in the busyness of life it’s something I can push to the back of mind, but for her it keeps popping up, for her it’s present – it’s about her.

So I’m wondering what other questions this summer will bring. I’m wondering if my daughter will ever find satisfying answers. I’m wondering if I will remember to be patient and compassionate even if she asks the same question 100 times, and I’m wondering how you handle you own child’s questions.

Do you cringe? Does your heart soften? Do you put them off? Do you give them your full attention? Do you return to it later or wait for them to bring it up again? Do you invite more questions? What do you do?

So far I’ve answered and it’s such a touching question that I can’t help but feel compassion and empathy for my daughter. How do you feel when your child asks questions about their past, their beginning? How are you connecting with your child while they are grappling with making sense of their stories?

I would love to hear your thoughts, just remember to be respectful of your child’s privacy and story.