This post originally appeared on Tapestry’s website on July 9, 2013.
When I think about play, I think about a child playing by herself. In May of 2008, Dr. Stuart Brown delivered a TED Talk titled, “Play is More than Fun.” At the beginning of his talk he contrasted a 15th-century painting of children playing in a courtyard and a more recent picture of children playing from The New York Times Magazine. In the more recent picture, all the children were playing alone, while in the old painting the children were engaged in solo play, body play, games and taunting. Dr. Brown goes on to say that 124 different kinds of play were represented in the painting, and he offers an interesting conclusion: “We may have lost something.”
He also said, “The basis of human trust is established through play signals,” and “the opposite of play is not work; it is depression.” Together these statements make me wonder, “Do I play with my children?” And just as important, “How do I play with my children?
Those questions prompted me to take a look at an article from the Tapestry archive titled, “What’s Your Play Personality?” I decided that my play personality is the Explorer because I like to set up activities (play dates, visiting museums, aquariums, the zoos, baking, etc.). But my husband doesn’t — he is more the artist and storyteller — so when we play with our children it looks very different. My husband teaches them to draw, makes up stories, and builds Lego towers, while I want to take our girls somewhere and do something with them.
Sometimes I feel like my husband really plays and I don’t, but the truth is that our play personalities just look different. We connect with our children in different ways, and not only is that okay, it’s actually helpful. Through our different styles and activities, my husband and I are inviting our children to develop different skills and capacities.
If you’ve never processed through the different play personality profiles, it’s worth your time. For one thing, you might see that play is more diverse and dynamic than you thought. On a more practical level, you might get some ideas for the kinds events and activities that don’t come naturally to you. Taking a cue from Dr. Brown, it’s good for all of us to expand our understanding of play so that we can better connect with our kids and help them develop into the people we know they can be.
Have fun!
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